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A Conversation


Some Guy:  Hey...hey you
Me:  (Looks all around, then looks back and mouths the word "me?")
SG:  Yes you.  Come here.
Me:  (Shuffles forward nervously)
SG:  So, I need to tell you something.  You're not going to like it.  In fact, you might hate me for saying it.
Me:  ....Who are you?
SG:  Not important.  What's important is that you make you grow as artist.
Me:  So hey, it might look like I'm calling the police but... (Pulls out phone and definately DOES start dialing 911.)
SG:  Wait.  Hold Up.  Just give me a few minutes and then you can do whatever you need to do.
Me:  That's okay.  This isn't even a real phone, just one of those gum containers that looks like one.
SG: .........
Me: .............Go on.
SG:  (Shrugs.)  All right, so what was I saying - Ah yes, you suck at being a productive writer.
Me: I'm doing just fine, thank you.  I read lots of books and articles on writing.  Also, I wrote a complete sentence last week.
SG:  Oh, so you're fully and irrevocably content with the work you've put into your writing when you go to bed every night?
Me:  .....Maybe?
SG:  That's what I thought.  Here, this is for you (Hands over a scrap of paper.)
Me: (Looks at it inquisitively, then intently as your eyes devour the content before you.)
SG:  (Begins to walk away and starts talking over the shoulder).  I'll leave you to you.  And you're welcome.
Me:  Hey!
SG:  (Stops and turns)  No need to thank-
Me:  The hell is this?
SG:  It's the key to unlocking your creative phase and increasing productivity in every aspect of your life in order to lead a more fulfilling existence before our time is up and our bodies make it's long, arduous journey to nature.  In short, it's essence of the cosmos themselves.
Me:  Oh, that's exactly what I thought it was.  Just checking.
SG:.......Really?
Me: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
SG:  .....Ok, no need to bellow.
Me:  All it says is "Do it".
SG:  Well, yeah.
Me:  And it's written on a crumbled combination of a candy wrapper, the cut off back of an animal cracker box, and a trading card based on the late 1980s cartoon Captain N, all stapled together with...are these bullets?
SG:  Well, yeah.  I was in a rush to get her.
Me:  But that's not.....I mean how.....WHAT'S THIS ALL MEAN!
SG:  Oh, nothing really. I was bored.  All I really wanted to tell you about productive writing is to create a daily schedule and just do it.
Me:  .....That's it?
SG: .....Oh, and you should do timed free write sessions. Or free write to word amount.  Just to shake the grey matter loose, you know.
Me: .......
SG: ........So, can you give me a lift?
Me:  Yeah. Fine. Where to?
SG:  Your house because I'M YOU FROM THE FUTURE AND not really.  Just drop me off at Wal-mart.
Me: Why not your place?
SG:  Pssh, like I want a weirdo like you to know where I live.
Me: .........


Writing Excercise


Write anything.  Do it.

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