Me: (Looks all around, then looks back and mouths the word "me?")
SG: Yes you. Come here.
Me: (Shuffles forward nervously)
SG: So, I need to tell you something. You're not going to like it. In fact, you might hate me for saying it.
Me: ....Who are you?
SG: Not important. What's important is that you make you grow as artist.
Me: So hey, it might look like I'm calling the police but... (Pulls out phone and definately DOES start dialing 911.)
SG: Wait. Hold Up. Just give me a few minutes and then you can do whatever you need to do.
Me: That's okay. This isn't even a real phone, just one of those gum containers that looks like one.
SG: .........
Me: .............Go on.
SG: (Shrugs.) All right, so what was I saying - Ah yes, you suck at being a productive writer.
Me: I'm doing just fine, thank you. I read lots of books and articles on writing. Also, I wrote a complete sentence last week.
SG: Oh, so you're fully and irrevocably content with the work you've put into your writing when you go to bed every night?
Me: .....Maybe?
SG: That's what I thought. Here, this is for you (Hands over a scrap of paper.)
Me: (Looks at it inquisitively, then intently as your eyes devour the content before you.)
SG: (Begins to walk away and starts talking over the shoulder). I'll leave you to you. And you're welcome.
Me: Hey!
SG: (Stops and turns) No need to thank-
Me: The hell is this?
SG: It's the key to unlocking your creative phase and increasing productivity in every aspect of your life in order to lead a more fulfilling existence before our time is up and our bodies make it's long, arduous journey to nature. In short, it's essence of the cosmos themselves.
Me: Oh, that's exactly what I thought it was. Just checking.
SG:.......Really?
Me: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
SG: .....Ok, no need to bellow.
Me: All it says is "Do it".
SG: Well, yeah.
Me: And it's written on a crumbled combination of a candy wrapper, the cut off back of an animal cracker box, and a trading card based on the late 1980s cartoon Captain N, all stapled together with...are these bullets?
SG: Well, yeah. I was in a rush to get her.
Me: But that's not.....I mean how.....WHAT'S THIS ALL MEAN!
SG: Oh, nothing really. I was bored. All I really wanted to tell you about productive writing is to create a daily schedule and just do it.
Me: .....That's it?
SG: .....Oh, and you should do timed free write sessions. Or free write to word amount. Just to shake the grey matter loose, you know.
Me: .......
SG: ........So, can you give me a lift?
Me: Yeah. Fine. Where to?
SG: Your house because I'M YOU FROM THE FUTURE AND not really. Just drop me off at Wal-mart.
Me: Why not your place?
SG: Pssh, like I want a weirdo like you to know where I live.
Me: .........
Writing Excercise
Write anything. Do it.
Comments
Post a Comment